The images are of a pretty decent quality.
The story is pretty much non-existent. There's no plot line, no insights into the characters, their personalities, no development, no explanation of why a woman would choose to have such a personal moment with company. I get it's only a demo, but at the moment it just demoes pretty good renders, and not a story.
Also, if you rely upon your audience deciding how the plot develops, you'll end up with a compromise that pleases no-one. If you have ideas of your own, write them and let people judge whether they like it.