its just, saying i love you is hard. growing up i never had to say it nor did anyone say it to me. i was always distant from my family. i guess they realised it later on, how uncomfortable i was with them. i cut contacts with them as soon as i started my own life. i guess i have a problem. i push away the people who try to care for me.
i know saying it will leave a sour taste on my tongue. i dont think ive ever felt love for something or someone. i guess the reason im afraid to say "i love you" to my partner is just, its not the truth. it wont hold any meaning, empty words spoken just to reassure the other. i want to run away but they seem to be the reason i do anything.