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(+2)

!!!Major spoilers!!! This game slaps so hard for no good reason and I have a lot I want to say, so why not right a way too long comment nobody's gonna read? Buckle up b^tches we've got six chapters (plus a prologue) to break down, and as somebody whos read this way too many times I am going to go WAY too in-depth. :)

Prologue- Mommy issues.

Honestly I'd give this prologue a 10/10 she did what needed to be done. I was hooked and I was ready. I think it establishes a good start to this novel. I felt pretty indifferent to both Ahlf and Salyra at this point without really knowing the gravity of the situation we were in, and honestly- they both suck and cannot parent to save their souls, but we'll get into that later. I'm not really going to talk about the part where we get sick, I think it's cute we get to see Ahlf being somewhat fatherly, but that still doesn't justify what he did with the letters. (the fact he's been hiding the letters Salyra wrote us, not the letters in the jade box.) I like how we get to establish MC's appearance so earl on in a way that fits instead of just saying 'what u look like?' and then move on. As for genuine plot, i enjoyed it. We were able to see what MC goes through when it comes to cultural discriminations, and how Ahlf is just not doing what needs to be done as a sole parent. As for Dena I feel like their not talked about enough (going to use They/Them for Dena as you choose their gender) Previously there were hearts next to the two romantic options if you join Dena at the tavern, but they were taken out so it's safe to say Dena won't be romanceable which I have no problem with as they called us getting the shiz beat out of us a jest. Come on bro could you be more insensitive? I also liked the fact that we got a moment where Ahlf expressed his affection for us when we came back all bloody and banged up. I'd love to see Dena re introduced in later chapters just for unnecessary drama, but that's just me wanting to stir shiz up for no reason. At the end of the day Dena, you're just a tutorial character, get over yourself.

Chapter one- Alone with an exiled prince

Chapter one was really good too, I think the start with the mourning of king Erlan felt like it foreshadows Ahlf death. Speaking of which, I like to think Ahlf was really upset about king Erlan dying. I chose to make my MC think she was her mom was alive, but I still think it's nice you mourn the absence of her, because that's still something we can do if somebodies missing in out lives. Let's be so for real, or MC is traumatized BIG time. Also this i could've mentioned in the prologue part since  it's in the prologue we fine the jade box but who cares- I kind of feel like Ahlf and Salyra's relationship may be foreshadowing- just a little bit- to MC's ad Irus's if you choose to pursue him. If that predictions correct I will not hesitate to cry. Ramona did MC dirty with Ahlf's death, especially if you choose to take his side like omg, I didn't like him that  much, but that's just sad. Bu let's talk about the elephant in the room, Prince Irus. I genuinely love his character, he's a real piece of work in this chapter, but I loved every moment with him, honestly. It's made clear he had bad first impressions with MC, given how we're dressed when he first see's us, but that didn't stop him from being a gentleman and helping us off crown. I also love crown sm, and I need to take a moment and say that. Fight seen with that blood guard was super bad as^ if you chose to fight him and not make Irus fight him. And I am waiting for my MC to become a fricking magical girl with the most badas^ powers from the ancient ones, I'm getting my ancient ones stat to 100 sue me. Slay atheist Irus we live for it, and it was nice to get a sense of vulnerability from him with his dads death, makes him feel more human. And that wraps up chapter one, so next stop Vinia babes

Chapter two- well, this is bizzare.

My first impressions on Nerena were pretty bad like, sis, let us in, we've been through it alright. As for Oren, not the most memorable of the capture targets, though his picture is spicy af. While I feel like he can fade in the back when put up against a whole queen of a nation and an exiled prince, he feels more in place than Anu, but I'll get into her when she's actually introduced. I think both scenes on the horses of Irus or Oren is adorable, but it feels almost mean to choose Oren over Irus after you know Irus's true thoughts about you choosing to ride with him. Then we're introduced Queen Elora, and I as just about read to fight this girl when we first see her. Like, who does she think she is jumping onto MY man and calling him "Iri?" like, sis, we're gonna fight. But in all seriousness I love queen Elora so much, she seems like the bff you rant to about your toxic ex while she paints your nails and encourages you to fight them way too much. The part where Irus gets mad and snaps at you got me so heated, especially if you choose "that wasn't the news i was expecting" and he says "All I'm left with is a fisherman's daughter/son" Like bish? I could get in a space ship and see the entire world and STILL not find where you got the audacity. Of course he apologizes, all is forgiven, whatever, but I still haven't forgotten that four chapters later. Back in our room the only thing really worth mentioning besides the nightmare is what we find in the jade box. I'm enjoying uncovering my mom and dads past WAY too much, like really. Then the nightmare we have really reels in the fact that MC is freaking traumatized- like I am so sorry. Anyways, after the nightmare we have our moment with one of the three introduced capture targets. (Throughout this review I'll mostly be talking about Irus because he's the target I went for.) If you go upstairs and have your time with prince Irus I initially thought he would give you a kiss goodnight regardless, however if you choose the shyer option he just touches your face which I personally feel is so cute because it's like he's trying to be mindful of your boundaries. Also this novel encompasses anxiety so well, it's hilarious. Then, of course, the next morning we get good news from Elora which went- "Yay we can stay- Oh we have to win over your government." Happy moments are fleeting in this game indeed. We go and take a look around the city, of course me being me- I went to the food stalls. It also seemed like the least traumatic option for MC. Then disaster strikes. We have to take a look at MC's mommy and daddy issues again because we found family at the bizarre with Nerena and Irus. I genuinely love Zikar as a freaking mood so much. Of course he's gotta learn to watch what he says about Irus my man, my man, my man. The part with the MCs family is just super emotional, and makes me hate Salyra even more than before. That's practically chapter two and my thoughts- but get ready girls because chapter three is one of my favorites.

Chapter three- I'm having a ball.

Starting this chapter off strong with coming to the realization that Irus can't study for shiz. You want to govern a whole kingdom but you can't even sit down and read a book? Smh. I also spent some time with Elora learning about Kazan which actually came in handy, I was genuinely not excepting that to matter. Later we're helping Elora, and oh my god let's make a petition to get rid of every mother in this novel, what are ya'll even doing for real. Also, I'd feel bad romancing Elora when Elora and Zikar together is so cute-. Also, the more I read the more I hate MC's mom, poor uncle Belahm- he did not deserve the mental torment Salyra put him through. Also why is everybody-besides MCs mother and father- in MCs family so freaking nice like omg. I got so excited when Ama gave MC the locket, if only I had known how much Salyra sucks. Then it was time to go to a ball. I'm going to sum this banquet up really quick because this comment is really long. MC aggressively makes out with either Irus, Oren, or Elora, then Virion (Irus's uncle who is trying to kill him) comes and says he's totally gonna wage war on Vinia- a very neutral kingdom- if they don't give him Irus. I honestly loved this chapter so much. The drama, the romance, it was all so perfect, I would stay here longer but there's not as much to unpack as there is in the other chapters which I really need to talk about. But in chapter four we're going on a trip sis, and poor MC just needs a nice good cry.

Chapter four- Setting sail.

Understandably enough, we start this chapter off in total fear. With all the- "I want Irus's head" and "I'm gonna declare war on you fools" we are not doing well as the MC, and the rest of the group isn't either. We're making the decision if we want to keep Irus and wage war against Cyre, or leave him in the dust, and the council doesn't go one way or the other. They decide we're going to be packaged with a nice bow and shipped to Ishari. This is hard on the MC because being Isharian literally got them beat up before, and now MCs going to where all the Isharians live. We have to say good bye to Ama, Zikar, Belahm, and Aunt Yara (who is literally pregnant and dose not need this stress,) and it was totally hear breaking. We really get to see how deeply they care for MC and it's so bittersweet. After that, if you're as cool as I am, you get into an official relationship with Irus. I think it's really nice how the book takes into consideration how people may feel about the sexual parts of relationships ad makes sure you're ok with having anything more than just a base level relationship with Irus. I would also like to mention how Elora is literally my right hand man like we are thick as thieves for real, and again everybody is fatherless in this book like omg. All our moms either abandoned us or hates us and we just have no dads smh. The next day  begin our endeavor to Ishari, and of course nothing ever goes right for these dudes. It's only fair we get attacked while at sea, right? Nomad tribes attack us because they suck. It's a total massacre, luckily Oren and Elora come to our rescue and we're saved and the turns quickly table as we capture the Nomads and their leader whos name starts with an L it's like Lena or something. Cha[ter four was nice, and is very hectic for the MC. After this who knows what's going to happen? Though You and Irus still get some... quality time together? Chapter five is a bit spicy huh?

Chapter five- spicy 

We finally make it to Ishari and we meet Anu, who I've got some notes on. First and for most Anu is sexy af, like mommy? I mean mommy? I mean... But also she seemed to be introduced quite late in the story. Most people will have already chosen who to be with by the time Anu is reeled into the picture. That's really my only issue besides the fact she makes me think gay. Again people hating on Irus like that- this time Anu calls him a bastard- smh. This is like black people being racist towards white people racisim is racism, it doesn't matter who it's directed at. :/ Discriminations aside we meet aa rather open minded Isharian named Saragon who's a real breath of fresh air. I chose to visit Eloras room and she literally let me do her hair I as so happy. Then some insignificant rude bish -Delondra- comes and ruins our good time like the insignificant rude bish she is. She lies to my face about my mom like an insignificant rude bish and the leaves. Like bish? Later prince Irus states his case about why the Isharians should make an Alliance with him but, of course, nothing ever goes smoothly, so MCs offered as tribute to save some Isharian captives being heled by the blood guard. So in favor of the alliance I do so, and say goodbye to Irus as I go and put my life on the line. Yay. I stumble upon my mother. The same mother who abandoned me when I was six years old or smth. This could've been a happy hting if it weren't for the fact she had another kid, Rana, AND that Rana got a dad. Yay. Needless to say MC isn't taking this too well. Ahlf is painted to be this bad dad who simply Tolerated MC but at least he had his moments. Since Salyra came into the picture, it's been sadness after sadness for MC. They both suck at parenting and chapter five was just mentally detrimental on MC. I try to remain indifferent when it comes to Rana since its genuinely go nothing to do with her that Salyra is a piece of trash.  of course we still have time for the dirty and squirty with Irus, and we close out chapter five with the devils tango. I refuse to go into anymore detail than that. Chapter five was pretty good too. Fudge you Salyra you suck. 

Chapter 6 - Tender mercies

If you end up staying the night with Irus you wake up with him, and then Elora tells you that the nomad prisoners escaped. (remember those guys?) Your mother also goes through your things at some point but there's something really important i need to talk about. It is stressed multiple times throughout this chapter that Salyra is keeping a secret from you and i think i figured out part of what it is. You get an opportunity to question Salyra and you can ask her why she never went back to you. She says it was too dangerous and that she's afraid she could be putting you in danger by leading the blood guard to you. That's total BS because she had Rana but didn't abandon her event though Rana is completely susceptible to the same fate. I think the secret is that Salyra was totally capable of coming back for MC but chose not to because of one reason or another. Not only that but Princess Lamahu said something that led me to this conclusion. " "I see," she breathes. "You are unaware of much, child. Your mother always did think she was protecting you by sending you away." " Literally word for word. This means Lamahu knew I was in Cyre, and knew of my existence even though Anu didn't so we can assume it was just Lamahu. The queen of this clearly wealthy nation and my moms good friend. Could she not have sent protection with Salyra? I feel like Salyra was purposefully leaving us in salt bay even if though he could come get us for whatever reason. I'm not surprised Salyra sucks, though i could be way off. Anyways, thats mostly what i wanted to day about chapter six. We did manage an alliance with the isharians, go Irus! and bam, my analysis of this book. 

It's 1:37 Am and I am tired as shiz but felt like doing this because this story has helped me cope so much, Thanks Ramona G. I wrote 8 paragraphs of this then an essay for school, I'm living the dream until it's due tomorrow. TvT. Excited for chapter seven! I remember hearing it's coming out end of April early may so I am checking in literally everyday now, super excited. This story is honestly a 10/10, it understood the assignment.

(+4)

Firstly, thank you so much for taking the time to leave such a long and detailed comment! I'm so grateful for your support and I'm happy that you're enjoying the game so far πŸŒΌπŸ’– I'll tackle my response the same way you structured your comment 😊

  • PROLOGUE:

I'm really glad you enjoyed the prologue! Those scenes with Ahlf (the sickness scene), Dena's scenes and the bullying were added to the prologue after Chapter 3 had been completed. I had hoped to flesh out the prologue a bit more by adding more ages for players to explore. Good news - Dena will play a major role in Part 3 and you'll meet them by Chapter 8. Dena was supposed to just be a forgotten character but after I wrote their character, I fell in love and realised I couldn't just ignore Dena πŸ˜…

CHAPTER 1:

Ahlf was always going to die 😬 That had been one part of the plot that I knew I had to include. As much as this is a fantasy game, I really love exploring family dynamics so the MC's relationship with their parents and especially when everything goes to hell was something I wanted to explore. I'm glad you love Irus! When the game was still a story/novel idea, he was the main love interest for the main character so you can say he has a special place in my heart. Crown was also going to be a nameless stallion until I added that scene with Irus explaining his name, so it's good to know you like our favourite horse.

CHAPTER 2:

Elora is definitely the BFF character I imagined her to be. She's based on another story character I created and originally was the only other love interest for the game. Chapter 2 was definitely more of a struggle to write for me, especially the political aspects since it was made up by me and I often questioned if it was going to make sense or not. I'm really glad you enjoyed meeting the family because it was also a planned moment which I had known needed to happen.

CHAPTER THREE:

This was one of my favourite chapters to write and I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I prefer writing romance to most things and I'd be dying to include a banquet scene and balcony kisses with a particular prince πŸ˜‹ Bad parents/family is the theme of the game so buckle up, it's definitely not over yet. With that said, Oren and Anu have the best family/parent dynamics with Oren's family being the closest to the MC's Vinia family.

CHAPTER FOUR:

I'm so happy that you appreciate the way the relationships are handled! To me, a good relationship isn't based on physical intimacy but trust and understanding so I knew that the sexual aspects of the romances would be secondary to the emotional connections I wanted to write. No one will be forced into doing more than they're comfortable with and it won't be an issue for any of the ROs. There is a lot of baggage with Ishari and the poor MC so I'm happy you enjoyed all the turmoil.

CHAPTER FIVE:

Anu was never planned as an RO until later in the game's writing and I had decided from the start that no RO would be an RO just for the sake of it. They needed to be relevant to the plot and play a role in the overall story, so Anu was introduced late and unfortunately will have fewer scenes with the MC than Irus would. Still, if you pursue her, you'll find that her romance will progress quickly much like Irus' and you'll start to see more of her route in Parts 3 and 4. Funnily enough, the intimacy scenes with Irus were meant to be more detailed/interactive but time was not on my side so I had to stick to basics πŸ˜… Expect a more detailed scene when the full game is complete.

CHAPTER 6:

There are a lot of secrets to unearth with Salyra. When I say that you haven't learnt the full truth, trust me πŸ‘€ You'll get some answers in Chapter 7 but it'll just lead to more questions and with the way everything is structured, you'll only get to learn everything by Chapter 9/end of Part 3. So brace yourself for more angst and painful revelations 😬

Thank you for your lovely comment and know that I truly appreciate you playing and being so wonderfully detailed in your comment! Chapter 7 will be out in May πŸ˜‹

I wasn't expecting anybody to read that comment (because of the size and all) especially not the author, so thanks for that pleasant surprise while I was watching a horror movie. :> With that aside I did have a question about my comment with Salyra. The more I thought about
it the more what I wrote didn't make sense, so I did the only smart thing and re read It paying a lot more attention to chapter five and six and while I can see her being like this I don't get her motive, not only that but I'm really excited for Dena- all besides the point, I know this is a demo so I wanted to know if the entire thing is going to be on browser, or if theirs going to be an eventual download option, and if it's going to be a paid experience or not. I know there's twelve chapters scheduled but i just wanted to know. I'd definitely spend money because the writing is immaculate. I'd have to say I'm mostly excited about the re introduction of Dena an where he takes this story in chapter seven. Good writing, and remember not to overwork yourself. <3

(+1)

I always read and try to reply to all the comments so please feel free to add as many as you want 😊

Her motive is mostly because she thought Erlan would have killed the MC but also because of spoilers which will be brought up briefly in Chapter 7 and explained more in depth towards the middle to end of Part 3. Safety was one of the reasons but not all of her reasons πŸ˜‹

The game will go up to Chapter 8 for the public demo and then up to Chapters 10 and 11 for my Patrons. Once it's completed the demo will remain as it is on itch.io and playable on browser and as an apk and I'll be publishing the full game on Steam and depending on the demand, on Google Play 😊

Great, Where can I find your patron?

(+1)

Right here 😊