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An unfortunate tale, one that I like. Your nuanced take on the theme took some time to register in my mind. It was somewhat muddied in its flow and pacing, but it was also fresh. I look forward to seeing how you improve during the next jam.

Thanks for the feedback.  I can't help but somewhat agree,  I wanted to set myself the challenge of writing in a setting I hadn't touched yet,  so I think focus went to realising the place - need to find a better balance next time.  Could have done with a few more drafts, but then again, what couldn't?  Worthwile experience for next time.