Your VN shows a lot of promise, buddy. Sole survivor is an interesting niche of start, that I can't remember any other project tackle. But I think, you jumped the gun a bit too early in the prologue.
Personally, I feel it would've been better to have a day play out before the spirit calls to your MC, Fenris. Have him struggle emotionally to properly give the reader some first-hand attachments or sorts before he shares his emotions. And then have the whole car thing play out. I do wanna point out that I really liked that part, by the way. It was a great idea for Fenris to immediately emotionally latch unto the car and then even go out of his way to set up the memorial. It shows his desperation well! Either way, it's a good start and your project has potential.
But please, my guy. It's deities, not dieties. They're not weight watchers. Grammar is otherwise fine. A few odd sentences and typos but nothing bad.
Good job so far, keep up!
Viewing post in Midnight Release! Lykaois 1.0- 4/14/23 comments
The story starts the way it does because the MC has been on his own for years on end and has already been having these dreams for quite sometime. Actually a lot of stories I’ve read has started the same way giving folks questions as to what has happened that led up to that point. Also it’s mention multiple times that this will have some mistakes for as it’s the first build and my first novel. If you find some mistakes just point them out on what they were and where you found them in the bug report forum in the future. Other then that thank you. I appreciate it.