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Hey - two possible fixes. 1. Make sure you both have downloaded the latest version. 2 (most likely) - go to select region and pick the same region at the menu screen.

hey thanks for the reply we had just downloaded the game and both were on us east and the game he hosted didnt apear

in hindsight shouldve said that in the initial comment 

Hmm. Were you both able to see any other games? I wonder if it could be a firewall issue. Also, I'm assuming his game was set to online when hosting?