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Hey, so I've played this game a few times (good stuff, btw) and I'm using it on a new PC now. I download the Definitive, unzip the game, but when I try to run the launcher, it just starts in a small, black window, and then closes. Anyway I can fix this?

That's odd, try running it in Windows 7 Compatibility Mode maybe?  Have you tried running other RPG Maker games? Also, give the old launcher a shot (follow the instructions provided in the folder)