Oof that's some hard feedback to read. This is my first time writing and sharing a story so I guess some rough edges are to be expected. The next update will include more insight into Nicolai's past and his motivations which hopefully elevate him above "edgelord" status. There is also a refinment of the earlier scenes such as between Nolan and Souldro in the hallway to better portray Nolan's inner turmoil.
Thanks for the review, it's a shame the story didn't resonate with you.