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If someone at the dinner table stabs me with a fork, do I remove the fork or the person from the table?

Safety tools are just that: tools. And tools used for a very specific purpose. If someone isn't willing to follow the intent of those tools, then we must ask both if the player will follow the intent of any of those rules, and if we want that kind of person at our table.

as for the point of impetuous of using these tools, that will always be there to some degree, until the day we learn to read minds. Because more games are going digital, however, we can make it more accessible by making it more anonymous. In my campaigns on roll20 for example, I have a custom deck built with one card that's just a giant X. Anyone can play from that deck, and no one can see who played it.

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Sure safety tools are tools, however the X card in particular is a very bad one for live play.  Your system sounds like the best implication of the X card that i have heard, the verbal form is what I am against.  Where people gotta raise their hand or verbally say no, or there is someway for people to tell it was Gary who played the X card.  As someone who is disabled I hate having to be singled out because I am uncomfortable, there have been cases where speaking out about my uncomfortably has been more uncomfortable, saying that I'm sure the people I was playing with wouldn't have judged me or made shifty eyes at me but the irrational fear that they would kept me from expressing that i wanted what was happening to stop.

The other problem with the X card is that while I imagine you and other will uses this along side other tools and talking to players etc, the wider implementation of the rule is just to slap a band aid over the problem and never address underlining issues or themes with their players.  I feel there are better way we can design these tools, and even better tools out there in the world that already are a thing other than the X card.  Also some tools designed by marginalised people would be excellent.

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So it sounds to me that the tool itself isn't the problem, but the implementation people have of it? I think a lot of people haven't been properly educated in its use, and that is a major concern. I doubt many people have looked at the documentation, and aren't using the rules of it because they never took the time to learn the rules.

Specifically to the second point: the Xcard is there specifically to negate the need for verbal response. As someone who has had to use the Xcard during a panic attack, it is much easier to touch a card, than verbally express myself, and I think that's kind of the point? That while it might still be difficult, it is easier than the alternative.