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Game theory analysis:

Stalematey mess.

As white moves their pieces first, they will always take the first black piece, this is simple with rooks or queens but with pawns, this is actually more complex, as they cannot simply cross the whole board, this can cause stalling from black, this may result in a stalemate. The next person to move their pawn loses the match as the cascade of lost material ends in defeat.

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why the fuck would you do this

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why. not.