The English is a bit rough in places as expected/disclaimed. So far worst thing is that what should be referred to "beast/anthro -kin" is "orcs". I don't know if this a translation or cultural translation issue (Orcs may mean something else in/to your language/people???). A CG to show what the Main Character looks like is good, separate from the image in the textbox corner. Some parts the English is butchered so badly I'm even having hard time trying to decipher it! X3, yes I'm finding it humorous for once. Oh tiger has my first name! I'm not one for sports, but you have clearly studied how basketball works! Its not necessary but you could have an overlay image with just heads of the characters as icons to show how they are moving around from one line of script to the next (the players that aren't the main character could just have similar colors to their team color, but be outlined with species. Two characters talk with names displayed, when they have not been introduced to the Main Character yet. Also the characters are being suddenly called widely varied different names compared to the name they were introduced as. Going to need someone who speaks both languages to comb though the English version to make sure all the correct syntax is used. There is no rush for the proper translation, focus on your own language for now. This will make it easier to focus on the English later.
My English is not good, I use a web translator to communicate with you, there may be grammatical errors, please understand: if you need a correct translation, it will cost a lot of money and energy on our side, (we have one or two meanings of a word on our side, except for polyphonic words (multiple pronunciations of a word)) (most of your words in our place require four or five words to explain, or even more; So it's hard for us to explain a word in English) (you can try the Chinese to English to Chinese to English translation on the website, and repeat it a few times to see the result)