Ok, i red all of your replies to my previous post.
1. We don't had a divorce, or family member death, just all of our family members are in semi-depression state, and we have some financial troubles. Also it's possible that we will migrate to another country, so everyone is stressed asf.
2. Im really was one of the worst players in n1 discord community, and there are was a ton of other players that are way better than me (Platon, Sir Dumb, blackmill, aussua) - you name it. I had a goal to be one of the best players in n1, but i turned out to be one of the worst, and it really hits me.
3. I'll try myself in different areas (i'm now connecting with some software professionals in linkedin), so maybe i'll start to work on some big projects and i will don't have time on n1.
So yeah, that's all i wanted to say.