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Of course, I'm sometimes to brain stressed/potato blob to think of responses, but I try to always read your updates.
Also, as someone who's been in a toxic and starting off emotionally abusive relationship(it didn't get physical til after I had m y kid) I don't wish that on anyone, and it sucks how they can make us internalize it and think the weight should be all on us when  no, relationships are mutual and both sides need to be willing to do some lifting to make them work. If one side's carrying it all it just makes you hurt and collapse, in one way or another. :<