Maybe you need therapy, but first and foremost you need a good anonimous friend in internet, someone who you could trust and whith whom you could disscus this problem. Im not psyhologist and, definety, not an expert in such things, but I had some friends with same terrible expirience and I was the one anonymous guy from internet, who was always ready to listen anything and tryed to comfort them. I do not know how it actualy helped, but after some time they sayd that talking with me honestly and without a need to hide any of their emotions helped them to overcome this trauma (something like talking with someone who, they knew for sure, they will never meet irl). I think it is the key - to have someone to speak honestly with about anything. Maybe try to find someone like this and maybe it will help you somehow.