I found what I think is a grammar error for you.
Conversation between Ina and Brielle:
‘For her part, the black knight straightens up in the wake of Ina’s heartfelt proclamation. It’s hard to see how it affected she is, obscured by armor, …’
‘it’ is a superfluous word? ‘It’s hard to see how affected she is…’ ?
Found some more errors for you:
Celica Lewd scene:
‘Whatever hangups Celica may have, no matter how nervous or inexperienced she may be, even if you are making mistake - she wants this at least as much as you do.’
Missing letter a: ‘even if you are making a mistake’
‘Her fragile body is warm against your own, and Celica melts into the kiss almost immediately, returning its with an intensity that suggests…’
‘Its’ should be ‘it’.
‘The flirty joke falls a little flat when you realize she’s starting to tear up, and panic begin to set in until she manages to speak.’
Should be: ‘and panic begins to set in…’
