[v0.1] = Good start. Very short so far.
I've seen much worse comedy writing, but humor is such a subjective thing.
Pros:
+ I like that I can pick dialog options other than sarcastic "humor"
+ Animations and voice acting is top-tier. You nailed the effective eye-contact during the android scene. The minor shifts of her pupils really brings the character to life.
+ Static scenes for dialog are still fluid and full of interesting background details that don't distract too much.
+ Effective story hook. I feel 100% vested in the plot.
Concerns:
~ The Comedy
It isn't super cringe, but IMO, there's a bit too much of the "low-effort" gags. The secret base is literally labeled secret base, the mercenary store is labeled mercenary store. The forbidden door is labeled forbidden door. ha. ha. Get it?
Seriously, you have a good framework and some interesting character setups. I've said it above, humor is subjective, but I feel some of the LOOK HOW RANDOM WE ARE parts partially undo the believability in your world-building. They are speed-bumps that dumb everything down and pull me out of your story.
The honorable group of amulet hunters is a great example of what works for me. There's a set up, there is thought put into them, they have a purpose, and their antics aren't over-the-top cringe.
All this being said, it's still light years ahead of many other visual novels I've found on this site in terms of attempted humor. Take my criticism/advice, or leave it. It is all my opinion anyway.
Negatives:
- No unforgivable sins other than I wish this was farther along. Just enough content to make me feel shocked/disappointed when it ran out.
[v0.1]