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(+1)

I won! You just have to make and sell the cheapest game you can (don't accept any mechanics, they reduce progress) for an easy 400 noodles.

After that make the beefiest game you can and self publish it.

Make sure to donate to the podcasters so they talk to you, but once they do, you don't need to keep donating anymore.

Take the GameCON discount if you can spare the noodles, but only after your first game. You get noodles from the indie game award, so it pays for itself sometimes.

(+2)

That is uncomfortably realistic.