I really enjoyed this! It was a sweet little story with cute characters. Very emotional too. The art and music were very nice. :D
The grammar and spelling mistakes didn't stop me from reading it and they weren't too bad. But I do feel that this great story could become even better if the script was put through an app like Grammarly (which is free) to help catch these mistakes. And maybe have it proofread by someone as well. It's not totally necessary though as it is still enjoyable.
A job well done on your first visual novel! I hope you make more in the future. <3