It is safe to assume that the basic writing advice, “write what you know”, can be somewhat limiting—after all, if we were to do so, then how could Tolkien have written about Orcs and Elves, Agatha Christie written about a Belgian detective, or Stephen King written about someone other than a tortured horror author? But there are, in fact, scenarios where you really ought not write something you are unfamiliar with at all. Adam Driver’s 14th screenplay written during the COVID lockdown, “Murder in the Underground”, is one such scenario.
A sapphic eco-terrorist group has taken on the cause of attacking a Japanese whaling vessel and they are prepared to leave at dawn to intercept the boat, when the murder of their fearless leader brings the would-be sailors’ plans to a grinding halt. Tensions rise as the lack of an intruder in their underground bunker points the finger at someone inside the building as the killer. Sadly, however, this is all the further Mr. Driver seems to have actually planned. The original murder is quickly forgotten in favor of scenes of women just being catty to each other, and the overt exclusion of any male figures in the film itself seems to be less a desire to tell stories from a woman's point of view as it is a cynical effort to pass the Bechdel Test.
One place that a man’s presence is certainly felt, however, is in the writer/director’s chair. The speed at which this diverse group of women breaks down into petty catfighting and cliques betrays the writing of an outsider to leftist activism, intersectional feminism and women’s lives in general, but who feels compelled to say something on those topics anyway...with that 'something' ultimately adding up to not a whole lot. The sloppy attempt at executing a plot twist to tie events up feels more like Mr. Driver realized there were only five minutes left on the film reel, and he was certainly unwilling to sacrifice any of the grindhouse-like ancillary murder that was executed halfway through the film, seemingly just to remind us what the original problem was supposed to be in the first place.
I cannot recommend “Murder in the Underground” to anyone who does not suffer from COVID brainfog because they will unfortunately be able to remember what happened three scenes ago, and will spend the next two scenes asking ‘But what about the murder? You know, the one in the title?’