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Sadly, you can't. I assume you're using the desktop app. 

It can only download games through Itch's own platform. As far as I've been able to figure out the past year or so, it simply can't handle third-party downloads. Sadly, as VNs tend to be very graphics/video have, a lot of them just go over the limit Itch can handle.

All you can do is download from a regular browser and run the game directly from its folder, not using itch as a launcher.

Now I know that itch.io have it's own launcher x_x

The more you know...

so does this mean you lose your progress every time there is an update? there has gotta be a better way. the initial time i downloaded the game it worked...dont get it. whateve

If you're playing on PC, your saves are stored in appdata, so you won't lose them unintentionally. If you're on android, it's advised to back up your saves.