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So:

  1. Remove mod with game UI
  2. Delete all mod files, including the 'backup file'.  (What is the backup file? Where is it?)
  3. Delete game?
  4. Re-install game?
  5. Re-install mod

Is that correct?

1. maunualy delete or just remove from mod folder
2. do one for all mod files the backup folder is in the game folder delete it.
3. re-install game (sometimes you will need a clean install  which means deleting the old one or using a different folder)
4. start game ( this will create a new back up folder) then exit once your sure it works
5. put Mods back
6. restart then activate mod(s) and it should workk fine until the next update

This is what the game intends for you to be able to do:
1. Run game
2. Go to Mods
3. Click "reset"
4. Run game again, and should be back to stock.

Problem is some versions corrupted the backups folders.  While in other situations, if the current files are corrupt, then you can't open the mods dialog, or use the reset button anyways.  You can manually delete the files folder and replace it with a copy of the backup folder in the game folder, but the backup folder may be suspect.  Thus best bet is to wipe the game folder and extract it again. Or extract it to some new location and use that.

0. Optional: Delete and re-extract mod, to ensure it's not been corrupted.
1. Delete and re-extract game
2. Run game, go to Mods, and apply
3. Run game again, mod should work.

Step 0 is maybe needed if you edited the mod in some broken way.

i was assuming that stuff like rest had already been tried

So. I figured out the problem.

You can't put the mod on a version of Strive installed on a hard drive that has admin permission required to make changes. (This is often the default for C drive.)

I recently moved Strive to C, (which is my SSD) for faster loading. However, windows was giving me shit, asking for permission for everything, and being unable to make shortcuts for some insipid reason.  Checking the debug log, I saw the mod kept trying to make folders on the C drive, but failing. So, I tried moving the modded-strive back to my normal drive, and now the mod works again.

TLDR; mod only works if admin permission is granted by default.