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(1 edit) (+1)

I liked! Wasn't too short for me. The pace felt a bit weird though but that might just be me disliking characters talking for minutes when others are being eaten alive.. Nitpick I guess.

Also the gore scene was kinda out of nowhere. I don't mind gore, but I feel it could have had WAY more impact. Some writer could maybe give a better example, but what i'd do is make the scene more personal. First, i'd make the woman someone you know. Then i'd set the scene so you can see her alive before the monster eventually eats her. Then the mc can go apeshit. Usually impactful scenes like this should be used to convey some important message right? Like the brutality of the world. Which means they would have to come from a side of peaceful carefreeness. This is pretty common in isekai anime tbh, when mc acts like the world is a video game and then boom, someone he knows gets chopped up.

Although it's kinda cliche, if she was running around smiling in a scene before the war, you might have gotten a dry tear from me.

Also I kinda wish mc was more serious about fighting. He acts like it's a game when he's meant to be this hero in the service for 5+? years. I think playful banter is still possible during action, but need to make sure it doesn't interfere with battle. Or that innocent bystanders aren't currently being eaten alive in the background i guess.


Keep it up though! I actually really like reading this VN.

(1 edit) (+2)

Oh wow honestly I didn't really expect such a very long comment but thank you so much for your honest review! I really appreciate it! (qwq)/✨✨


And about the mc was not being serious in the fourth paragraph, there's actually a reason why acted like that. You see, he is actually...mentally unstable. Always be optimistic all the time. Saying that everything is going to be fine as long as he keeps all the negative thoughts away from his mind. Even though he knows very well enough that it is not. And once he dropped the mask, something nasty thing will happen around him. And that nasty thing already happened in his world which gave terrible outcomes toward himself and his squad. This type of occasion also happened during his study back at the Academy. He became who he is right now all because of his friends who kept him in shape, mentally speaking(being all carefree and cheerful all the time). On the first day of his enrollment in the Academy, he was VERY different from the current version of Bal we know right now.


Damn, only if you know about his backstory lol. If I keep talking any further I guess that would be a major spoiler about the game and that wouldn't be fun now, ain't it? Don't worry cuz I will tell you more about his backstory in the VN in the future so be patient ma dude. (>wO)👌🏻✨

Man you don't have to spoil anything. I trust you. As long as you don't ignore feedback it's great.

(>3<)/ <3<3