I love this idea. It's a Metroidvania without real-time movement mechanics! That's a hilarious idea, and it was implemented very well. The music, the sound effects, the detailed descriptions, and the logical flow of uncovering an unknown planet all capture the feeling of a Metroidvania very well. This is definitely one of my favorite entries in this game jam, and I encourage you to continue working on it! It's innovative, clever, and it I think you can just continue to add content and polish until you have a really funny and interesting game.
Keep up the great work! Rated 5/5