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Kind of have the same feeling.  Not a kickstarer backer for this particular game (you can't know about every kickstarter project and back everything).  Would have hoped maybe a delay on public availability of an adult patch after kickstarter backers had their value and a pay extra option to those who hadn't backed would be the right way to go for the extra adult content.
Think I'll put this on my backburner list of games to think about, I have so many unplayed games

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Yeah - I probably won't buy this. I don't mind that backers get a reward, but it feels like a kick in the face of people that are "too late to the show", even if they are prepared to fork out money afterwards.
Well - It seems there is no helping it, so no money from me. I will pass this one then.

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Just found out about this game and it sounded legit interesting... until I learned what  you did, and I agree 100%. Frankly, the fact that potential paying customers are being locked out of content because they didn't pay in time is flat-out disrespectful towards paying customers. 

That the developer is ignoring requests with "the game is still fun without it" does nothing to change the fact that regular players are being forced to buy an objectively inferior version if they want to experience it at all, and again comes off as disrespectful and apathetic towards the desires of potential customers. Releasing the 18+ scenes only to Kickstarter backers isn't rewarding them so much as it is punishing everyone else.

If the developer doesn't want to make Kickstarter backers mad by releasing content they paid extra for, they could always sell the patch at an increased price to what the backers paid, ensuring that the backers still get a benefit (they don't have to pay as much) while still allowing new players to experience all the game's content.

But until that happens, I'll be taking my money to games that don't feel the need to hide content from their players.

Yeah - It seems the developer does not need your or my money.
Well nothing can be done about that. It's a shame because it really sounded interesting, but there is enough other stuff around. No need to need to do this one.

Yeah I'm not sure what ways you can reward backers in a fair way tbh.
I backed Dead Dating and one reward was that we got 18+ content but no one else will get it, just like this game.
Even though I got the 18+ content I still feel uncomfortable with that set up and wish everyone could get it.
I get that was my 'reward' as a sponsor/backer and I'm not sure what other reward would be better but I think it feels like backers who had money or knew about it early enough get the full game and others don't, even if it's not 'storyline' stuff.

I wouldn't make use of desktop background images and outside of physical rewards (which many devs can't afford to make), I'm not sure what they CAN offer us as a reward...

Also to say, I don't think it means devs 'don't need your money', but like, if you think this is unfair (like me) perhaps suggesting alternative rewards might help them have more options that'd make everyone happy in the future?
I have no ideas so I've not suggested any, but if we grumble without giving suggestions, what are they supposed to do?
Offer no rewards to backers who are the ones that make sure the game is actually MADE in the first place? They need that funding in the first place to make their dream projects a reality, we can't spite that.

I dunno, just seems a tough situation.

OH one more thing, I think I've seen some things where comics artists will have backers added in background scenes. Not sure if there's a chance backers could add lines of dialogue or something cheesy that doesn't change things too much but otherwise not really sure what could be done as a 'reward'.

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Well - Giving the 18+ content to backers for free, while other consumers have to pay extra for it looks like a decent reward to me.
Just make that 18+ content available for a decent price to other buyers that have committed the crime to be "late at the show" looks like punishment enough for those horrible, horrible people that noticed this VN too late (like me). But in stead of getting some extra money, the developer have chosen to get no money at all.
But I really respect that choice by honoring those wishes, and not buying this VN at all. I am sure that must be a satisfying feeling for the developer.

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Yeah but backers pay extra so it's not really free. Sometimes you're paying more than the full games cost so you'd not really be making a deal out of it as a backer.