thats pretty good! better than mine, i think. one suggestion that may or may not work depending on the game: would it be better if 'noticeable impacts' was exchanged with 'consequences'? just cuz that kinda seems more ominous.
Ah yeah! That's one of those words that seems rather repetitive from my perspective because one of the characters early on actually says "Every decision has its consequences." But yes, that does sound more interesting than what I had!