Is there something deeper you're trying to avoid or forget when going on this site?
I think you should avoid online relationships to begin with... again I can't control you and don't intend to so if you don't want to follow my advice, thats fine
If you really cant spend time away from here, you're going to have to redeem yourself. I don't know if I can help you 100% but if you ever are doubting your decisions, you can talk to me about it, if you want of course. Just avoid what you were doing that got you jeopardized in the first place, and I think you will be able to at least clear yourself up a bit. But don't take my word for granted; from now on if you stay you'll still encounter people who want you gone. Don't act negative to them, that's what keeps them wanting you gone anyway. And also don't act like a dick either, you'll also fuck yourself over that way too.
Please don't be like Ethan and take my advice for granted. Time will tell if you can fix your mistakes.