Its as simple as it is hard to achieve. Only YOU know what YOU need to do and, to have success you "simply" have to work your ass off. Thats the simple and hard truth. If what you wanted to achieve did not work, work harder. If you don't know what to do, find an information source, giving you the information you need. If something you did is not good enough, do it again. And really, if you want to have a more chilled life, stop having expectations. Its that simple (but that does not mean it is easy). I guess you know all of this already, as you seem to be an intelligent guy, but have a hard time accepting it as we all have. Good Luck and stay strong man!