Well the story so far has me excited and intrigued both for the events that will unfold the interactions between characters. Great work so far!
I would recommend getting a proofread or two of what you've got so far because the tense is all over the place which made it difficult to read and parse the meaning.
Also here's another pro-tip: You can split the script into multiple files to make it easier to manage. I recommend splitting it into the chapters you already have marked (making sure you label them so you can jump to the next chapter at the end of the previous chapter). I can also recommend separating out all the setup (like defining characters, images, and sounds) into yet another script file which is in an init block (this tells Ren'Py to do all the setup before jumping to the start label).
And finally, there are plenty of platforms where you can ask for help developing a visual novel or using Ren'Py if you want it. The main ones I know about are the Lemma Soft Forums and the official Discord server for Ren'Py. Plenty of great and helpful people on there!