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(6 edits) (+1)

I hoped you had fun and dread with Penlight. Planning to have 5 clubs makes a me hold you hypnosis content to different standard then if it was one of two routes. I also replayed the Elene branched trying to figure out why it seemed so rapey. I see conflict between

  • the main character being doubtful about the power of hypnosis
  • MC nailing the induction

MC going to install triggers as the first thing he does and MC being comfortable with such wide ranging consent without further consent questioning makes him kinda seem like a psychopath or utterly naive but super studied in hypnosis. I also wouldn’t call that what happened with taking the gem out of the hand consensual hypnosis. It is at best (but i think it would just be non-consent) consensual non consent (CNC).

I have a suggestion how to fix it with minor adjustments that would also play into an object already established in the game world (a notebook). Would you like it to hear it and be free to use it if you like it[1]?

Independent of that you might want to steal the “record with phone for consent to trick” from penlight. Benefits i see:

  • Realism: Subjects can lose memory of what happens even if there instructions not to forget anything in my experience
  • Hotness: Elene could admit that she relistenened to some files and really enjoy it
  • Interaction between clubs: having the ability to listen to certain files (which might also come from the internet and not just Elene) before a certain club interactions might work well with some club kinks (pain resistance, better pee/cum holding, getting/not getting hard, extra immersed in roleplay , … [2] )
  • (spoiler) A way to do memory play: A session can just be blank with triggers that play out in the later days the player is not aware off and gets resolved later when MC is given the recording/transcript.

As for CSI, yes ones i remember the punchable of face of some of the characters i got a feeling that it was some CSI think and not bones or a similar show.

[1] No obligations or strings, I don’t insist on credit.

[2] Random kinks that could work with that and that shouldn’t influence your club choices

(+1)

 I like recording the sessions on the phone a lot, had some other plans with audio files as well (bit of a spoiler I guess). Recording the session would really help out on the consensual side of things. I also find the current explanation for preventing memory loss a bit shaky.

I intend to keep clubs separated for the most part with characters interacting mainly with the player and others in the same club. The amount of possible routes becomes exponentially bigger when two characters with multiple paths meet.

I'm more interested in concepts than fleshed out ideas, I want to write my own story's and telling me an idea would almost prevent me from using it since I didn't think of it on my own. Concepts like recording the session for instance are great!

So far I'm having fun with Penlight, but with the comments I've read I'm sure the dread will set in pretty soon. :P

(4 edits) (+1)

Ok, i tried to abstract my fleshed out idea into a concept.

The MC doesn't need to have any expertise in hypnosis in the first session if Elene keeps a "Hypnosis Journal" where she writes down things related to hypnosis like 
  • inductions (that could be read off in the first session)
  • formulas for hypnosis content (like Induction, Deepener, Suggestions, Awaken) also an excuse for all sessions to share some structure when you are lazy with writing
  • triggers (which might already be planted)
  • likes, dislikes, kinks, consent stuff

Elene doesn’t need to expect MC reading other pages then the one she handed her book/notepad/notebook open with.


Do you intend for the hypnosis content to be able to hypnotize a player or would you rather not have that happen?


As for the combinatorical explosion that i find easily manageable. If actions in the previous days can unlock a different route for every club in the next week you have <50% more content (first week does only have 2 routes per club and 2(dom+sub)->3(dom+sub+secret) is 50%) however that would be excessive in my opinion. If just X clubs every week have a secret route that can be unlocked depending on choices made by the player up to then it’s <X0% new content. All assuming the secret routes are as long as the dom/sub route.

Anyway i wrote that to possibly dispel the notion that routes grow out of control to give your more room for creative freedom. Also it doesn’t need to be secret route or dom route or sub route choice it can also be first secret route (or skipping it) then dom or sub choice. Anyway my analysis kinda assumes all clubs will have sub and dom routes don’t feel constrained by that.

But most importantly have fun.

(+1)

Elene recording her own progress in hypnotizing herself could be fun, and I am just working with static images for now so actually hypnotizing  the player is not within the expected scope, would be pretty cool though. :P As for the exponential growth point, like I said before I plan to have clubs MOSTLY separate, some choices will come back in different clubs. Hard at work on 0.2 for now. 

You look to be on a good path. If you need any advice, thoughts or just to bounce some ideas around you are free to ask me for time in a manner convenient for you. I will play the next minor release or the minor release after that. At the moment i don’t have to say more then keep up the good work!

dread

Whether you see any strongly on the routes you take.