The simple formatting really works with your writing style, I cant wait to see the illustrations! One viability crit I would give is that I felt as though I didn't really have an objective; I played through a few different times for a few different endings but I didn't know which ones were the good or bad endings, or what the ideal ending would even be. All I knew is that the killer ending was apparently bad, but I had no hint of that until the end; it sort of came out of nowhere, at least on the path I took.