river presents:
A collection of quotes from me and my friends
(Except a lot of its mildly nsfw so like warming here)
"RULE 34 NEVER LIES YOU BITCH" -me
"Michael i swear to god just buy the fucking dick i don't want to keep carrying this shit back and forth all week" - lee
"no derek im not giving you my phone, last time you had it you googled fucking overwatch hentai" - lee *again) "yeah but i didn't even get to SEE it" -derek "why is it every time i find overwatch hentai all the girls have dicks" -me
"I know you want to fuck william afton river but he is a TOP" - lee "I DON'T WANT TO FUCK HIM I WANT TO WATCH HIM BE FUCKED" - me "I DON'T CARE STOP FORCING YOUR FANTASIES INTO CANNON" - lee "i literally fucking hate you all.." - Michael "*pats Michael on the head* i love you too buddy" - me
"you could tie the dick to your ceiling fan and then it could zoom around" - me
"River i swear to god if you call Thomas Jefferson a twink-" - Michael "*insert demonic giggling here*" - me "RIVER I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL THROW YOU" - Micheal "I DIDN'T EVEN SAY ANYTHING" - me
"FUCK YOU" - Micheal "OH YEAH YOU'D LIKE THAT WOULDN'T YOU" - me
"Michael looks like such a twink in that" - me ".. you're not wrong" - lee "*Michael stares at us with what one can only describe as pure fear" "OH NOT YOU MICHAEL-" - me "we meant Micheal afton" - lee "i hate you all" - Micheal
"DID YOU JUST CALL ABRAHAM LINCOLN WITHOUT A BEARD A TWINK!?" - derek "UH YEAH, LOOK AT THIS BITCH" - me
"STOP STEALING MY FRENCH FRIES, *proceeds to slice me with a plastic knife" - derek *insert long pause here* "WHAT THE SHIT DEREK IM BLEEDING" - me "WHAT- NO WAY" - derek "HOW FUCKING DELICATE DO YOU HAVE TO BE, TO BLEED FROM A PLASTIC KNIFE" - lee "SHUT UP IM JUST DAINTY" - me "haa, fuckin pussy" - Micheal "*incomprehensible river noises*"
"WHY IS EVERYONE SNIFFING MICHAEL" - derek "because i wanna see if his hoodie smells like an airport again" - me "i washed it.. it just smells like detergent" - Micheal "you disappoint me more and more every day.." - me
"I hate gay people >:((" - me "river aren't you literally fucking gay" - Michael
"BEING A MURDERER DOESN'T AUTOMATICALLY MEAN YOU'RE A TOP LEE" - me "YES IT DOES OH MY GOD, LOOK AT THE WAY HE HUGS PEOPLE FROM BEHIND" - lee "YOU CAN HUG AND BE A BOTTOM" - me
"Hello Matthew, are you a closeted homosexual... this isn't for porn btw" (a message Michael LITERALLY SENT TO MATPAT)