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river presents: 

A collection of quotes from me and my friends 

(Except a lot of its mildly nsfw so like warming here)







"RULE 34 NEVER LIES YOU BITCH" -me

"Michael i swear to god just buy the fucking dick i don't want to keep carrying this shit back and forth all week" - lee

"no derek im not giving you my phone, last time you had it you googled fucking overwatch hentai" - lee *again) "yeah but i didn't even get to SEE it" -derek "why is it every time i find overwatch hentai all the girls have dicks" -me 

"I know you want to fuck william afton river but he is a TOP" - lee "I DON'T WANT TO FUCK HIM I WANT TO WATCH HIM BE FUCKED" - me "I DON'T CARE STOP FORCING YOUR FANTASIES INTO CANNON" - lee "i literally fucking hate you all.." - Michael "*pats Michael on the head* i love you too buddy" - me

"you could tie the dick to your ceiling fan and then it could zoom around" - me 

"River i swear to god if you call Thomas Jefferson a twink-" - Michael "*insert demonic giggling here*" - me "RIVER I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL THROW YOU" - Micheal "I DIDN'T EVEN SAY ANYTHING" - me 

"FUCK YOU" - Micheal "OH YEAH YOU'D LIKE THAT WOULDN'T YOU" - me 

"Michael looks like such a twink in that" - me ".. you're not wrong" - lee "*Michael stares at us with what one can only describe as pure fear" "OH NOT YOU MICHAEL-" - me "we meant Micheal afton" - lee "i hate you all" - Micheal 

"DID YOU JUST CALL ABRAHAM LINCOLN WITHOUT A BEARD A TWINK!?" - derek "UH YEAH, LOOK AT THIS BITCH" - me 

"STOP STEALING MY FRENCH FRIES, *proceeds to slice me with a plastic knife" - derek *insert long pause here* "WHAT THE SHIT DEREK IM BLEEDING" - me "WHAT- NO WAY" - derek "HOW FUCKING DELICATE DO YOU HAVE TO BE, TO BLEED FROM A PLASTIC KNIFE" - lee "SHUT UP IM JUST DAINTY" - me "haa, fuckin pussy" - Micheal "*incomprehensible river noises*" 

"WHY IS EVERYONE SNIFFING MICHAEL" - derek "because i wanna see if his hoodie smells like an airport again" - me "i washed it.. it just smells like detergent" - Micheal "you disappoint me more and more every day.." - me 

"I hate gay people >:((" - me "river aren't you literally fucking gay" - Michael 

"BEING A MURDERER DOESN'T AUTOMATICALLY MEAN YOU'RE A TOP LEE" - me "YES IT DOES OH MY GOD, LOOK AT THE WAY HE HUGS PEOPLE FROM BEHIND" - lee "YOU CAN HUG AND BE A BOTTOM" - me 

"Hello Matthew, are you a closeted homosexual... this isn't for porn btw" (a message Michael LITERALLY SENT TO MATPAT) 


I CANT

OR CAN YOU

I CAN

I WASN'T ASKING YOU BUT COOL IG 

COOL(I am bored can u rp?)

nope

D:

yeah you're right

maybe i can

river

the horniest teen ive ever seen

go touch sum grass

ahhh, im not that bad 

sure-

its trueww

mhm

LMAOOOO

do i have permission

to do one

like this ruv riv?

I suppose

YAY

Ngl the stuff I say to my friends is way worse.

Cap

Sureeeeeeeeeeeeee, whatever you say.

frr

That's not even the worst of it 

Trust me 

Trust me, my friends will say the weirdest, dirtiest shit around anyone.

My friend literally raised their hand in class to ask our science teacher if he thinks William afton gets fucked in the ass or does the fucking

Sounds like something my friends would do except they don’t like the fnaf fandom.

sounds like ur friends are a bucket full of boring /j /lh