Indie game storeFree gamesFun gamesHorror games
Game developmentAssetsComics
SalesBundles
Jobs
(2 edits)

ohhhh no i'm so sorry to hear that ))))): i think this length of post is actually a pretty good length and very digestible in format. writing round, flawed characters can be a challenge but these are already pretty believable ideas to begin with. this might be a little personal to mention but i don't find it very difficult to think of possible flaws because i just think of some of my friends who got out of bad relationships and how their partners acted toward them haha... i am also very curious where you'll go with amy's character. if players are going to be playing through multiple rejections do you think it's possible they might come to resent amy? (even if the game's design goal is very clearly meant to demonstrate the protag's increasing desperation) obv not saying this will definitely happen--but i think it will be an interesting design challenge.

edit: oops-- i wrote this first part before you just posted the last update. the below is after i read it.

ahh i kind of feel this both ways about college to working life. i actually have a lot more free time now that i'm out of school but i've found that.... in my free time i want to work a lot less and especially on games since.... i do that 8 hours a day already haha. but yeah this snippet looks great so far! it feels like a good amount of exposition. i love also knowing that we're reading an unreliable narrator. i think you could definitely dig in this more with more show and less tell--just describing amy as this perfect beacon of everything good would probably make us, the player, feel how the protag feels about her, and i think in multiple playthroughs we will start to understand how truly unreliable that narrator is.