I feel like I’m helping everyone feel better but no one wants to help me. Maybe I’m just getting too good at hiding it. I want to say something to my mom but she wouldn’t understand. I don’t think anyone will. I just feel so empty. Just a ticking time bomb waiting for it all to end. Just waiting for the day when I close my eyes and never open them, when I’m all old and wrinkly. Never telling anyone. Never taking action. Just living an empty life. No goals. No wants. No feelings. I feel like a zombie. I just want to leave. Leave everything and sit down. Take a breather. Just be happy. But I feel so tired so uninterested. It feels like I’m putting on a mask every morning and changing it through the day to act like a normal human. To act like someone fine. I don’t even know who I am. I’m not even sure what I want. I don’t want to die I just wish it would all end. It’s too much. It’s been too long. I was only 5 when all this started. Just a little kid. I’m 16. It’s been too long. Just too much weight. It all feels numb. Sometimes I wish I could just feel at peace. At this point I don’t even know what peace is. It feels like a brand new concept. Like something I’ve never heard of before. When it gets bad I feel like I’m suffocating but still breathing. I just feel so… nothing. I want to go home but what is home anymore. I don’t even know where I am.
Hey I’m sorry, I’ve been dumping all my feelings on you without thinking how you feel. I understand how your feeling, sometimes family members aren’t as understanding as you hope. People say home is where your family is but in this case YOURE my family and I hope you feel the same way. You are like the sister i never had. It seems like you’re just feeling empty. When I feel empty I talk to you guys and I feel at peace knowing that here is a safe place to talk to your friends, and I’m hoping you can feel that peace on mgm too! I’m sorry if this is writen out badly, I’m not good at this kinda stuff.
I just want to say thank you, you have helped me through so many things and I want to help you. You are the best person I’ve ever met, you are my best friend. I love you (As a friend) no matter what. You are special, and you are intelligent. You saved a LIFE Queen, You saved MY life, not even cops can do that. You will get through this depressed spot in life no matter what, even if I have to help. I said all of this because it’s true Queen, I need you to be happy, ACTUALLY HAPPY for me and the rest of your friends. If you need to vent, please talk to me.