Yes the choice in this case if you want to pursue Grace is to pick the "less damaging" choice. I might change it though if needed. Note that you don't need to have max relationship to end up with a certain romance at end of the story.
As for search for Grace choice, yes I removed it and in practice now always shows in the main plot so it always happens since was causing plot-holes later if you never apologize to her. Hope it makes sense :)