It built a really interesting situation for me and then abruptly ended. I feel like it was really going somewhere. Like watching a movie, getting to the end and then thinking.. wait why is there not more?!
The one thing I really think could be worked is the dialog the character says when you have work to do but try to sleep. It breaks the depth and mood of the character/game that you worked hard to build. It comes off as too mechanical. You can watch my reaction to it here: