noticed quite a few spelling mistakes, and as someone else noted below in their posts, there is definitely some work to do with, which what each character is saying, for example, he and she often tend to get mixed up in coversations, and sometimes, a conversation line is given to the wrong person. for an example, maria might say something, that the MC should say, and there are other little examples littered throughout.
Really loving the plot lines, especially with maria, her sister and of course laura and jameela..wonder if jameela gets brave enough. I am also wondering if and when the FFFM scenese occur at a later point, that they should actually be quite long scenes. Dont get me wrong, really loving your work, but the scenes really need to be extended with more kinky options with the girls. in fact apart from the lactation, i haven't really seen anything in this avn yet that i would consider a kink..would love to have ALL the women in a big orgy with only the main character, with long long scenes, that would be hot as hell...but like i said this is easily one of the better avn's ive seen so far. keep up the great work and please consider what iv'e said above, especially a massive orgy with just the main character! thanks