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(1 edit)

It's a really good game and I know how much projects like this mean to the creators, however I do have some small critiques for future reference....

1. Don't do so much with visual shaking and flashing of the screen, it can become annoying and distracting to some readers if overdone. When shaking or vibrating the screen it should be done in moderation and typically when certain actions are done. Flashing the screen is the same, if you use it try not to overdo it. Flash the screen 4 or 5 times and then either keep screen black or clear the image but if it's constantly flashing it will become very distracting to readers and it can take away the sense of "Immersion" within the story.

2. adding more music, even if it's just soft background noise is usually helpful. It's better it have more music in a VN than very little. (not that there was that much of a lack, but the beginning could've used a bit more music.)

3. Try not to do scrolling or auto continue words and dialogue unless you have a voice actor to go with it. people read at there own pace and when the words change on their own it can become frustrating to the reader if it goes too fast.

4. Make the credits skip-able, this is because if the reader has accidentally scrolled back (Like my smart self did) they will have to re-watch it, that can be a bit annoying.

Now before you get all critical and whatnot (not saying you'll get upset but just in case you do I want to clear thing's up) I just wanted to tell you that this is an amazing game and I adore it. The music that is present in the game is perfect, (I only wish there was more of it) and the CG is beautifully drawn. It's hard to find a VN with a good story line and gorgeous CG. I love the language barrier at the beginning, it's different and very creative. Not many people would think about adding that to their stories. I adore the game and the story, I love the fact that every choice you make has a direct impact on all three of the Boys and that you can get a wonderful ending but experience a heartbreaking scene.

I look forward to more of your creations and I hope you put the same amount of creativity, hope, and love into all that you do.

Hi Ashylan!

Thanks for your critiques and suggestions! X'D

I think you're talking about the beginning of the story when the legend story is being told? (auto-text) and there ARE lots of shaking and flashing when Tamara 'fell' ...even more so in the endings :"))

Oh and I take it for granted that people know how to skip text/credits with ctrl button O.O; really sorry about that.

In my next VN, I'll try to tone down the shaking/flashing ><; I tend to get carried away :"))

About more songs; this is a good idea and I was considering to hire a composer for more original musics (I'm quite a picky author and it took forever to get musics which are compatible with some scene's situation >.<). But I do thought about using Indiegogo for getting funds o.o I'm focusing on preparations atm tho -pray so my campaign in indiegogo will go well! XD

Again, thanks for your concern and support! See you around in the future!

Xoxo,

SweetChiel

No problem, I always enjoy a good VN and I love helping others make them even better. This one was absolutely amazing and I enjoyed every bit of the story including the bad endings. I can't wait to see what else you come up with, and yes I was talking about the auto-text at the beginning.