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Thank you for sharing your story, I hope you are better now. Know that sometimes this voices in your head may say bad things but im sure your family says the contrary. Listen to them, please. And remember it was not your fault. 

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Thank you. I'm still not well but I'm trying to get by.

At this point, even if I wanted to die I can't kill myself anymore. I'm living because of guilt but I'm trying my best to become a better person worthy of being remembered by the people I love.

It's already amazing that you are trying to be better! Im sure your loved ones are very fond of you, good luck on your journey and keep making games if it makes you feel better, its a healthy way of coping, u know? I wish I was as strong!