The writing and character art stand out on this one! The story was interesting and the length felt just right. The voice acting was a nice touch, and added to the experience. I see the music is Creative Commons, but it all fits nicely. The story themes worked well, and the science angle was a nice touch!
More of an observation than a critique, but I notice this one goes the more traditional magic route than the "Magical Girl" trope. Of course, that's fine! Well within the jam parameters.
If I have one critique, it would be that I tend to prefer a little more interaction in visual novels when possible. I did appreciate that taking pictures was at least a button click, vs just another dialogue element. However, this is really just my personal preference... and I know your goal was a kinetic novel. With that in mind, it came out excellent!
Great job!