Thanks man, hope the hoops are not going to be lit on fire midway through the process. I'll definitely keep watching this space in the meantime!
Thanks! I can't write anything off, because this is Apple - the hoops might actually be made of snakes, or lead to an alternate dimension where everyone is Tim Cook. Terrifying.
Probably easier to just get Bootcamp and play it that way then. But it sounds like a great idea for another itch.io project. The horrifying experience of acquiring an Apple developer ID that became a genre itself.