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(4 edits)

I like the reference of the storyline, also the banner's pic and looks cool. Is it planned to get my pointer refer to "footer"-subtext when hovering the lower textlines in-game (sounds more like a placeholder-info)? I'd prefer visualizing the visited lines same as unvisited ones in colours.


typos:

"You walk over to Hiro" ... there's the reply-icon and a bracket that don't suits there? btw: it's the part where I could get a closer look at that "strange machine".

Some prev. lines also includes the whole sentence marked in blue/as clickable, even that bracket-icon which represents just the start of a new option for replying.

"creamery", hannah's reply won't include that arrow starting-icon? ("moving closer" to that line e.g. includes the whole line as clickable blue text even that arrow somehow), I'd prefer it like the weight/inventory, that only a specific noun or verb, adjective being highlighted there. Same as one of the lines withing the bakery, before heading out of that pastry room & wonkavision-mk1 (grab an object examining that path before skipping to mk2).


doubled paragraphs?

I was clicking "leaving the inventing-room", after that machine do require to talk to Wonka, I even didn't intro to other guys just heading into the adventure xD when Wonka mentioned if we'd head on, I could still ask about 2 things, one including that boat. Nope, still no preference for now ...want to simply skip it.

Similar to:
eating one size of dough. getting back to the bakery, checking weight. not eating additional ones, while "back"-option includes again: eat one dough?


mk2, insisting me wearing that VR, while I guess the ending-sequence being kinda "broken" / should refer to a different in-game line?

(+1)

Apologies for not responding to this sooner, I dismissed the email then forgot about it. I appreciate you pointing out some of the inconsistencies with the arrows. Some of these can probably be fixed, but it is a huge pain in the neck to format things in twine from their sluggish editor, so I gave up on keeping them perfectly standardized somewhat early on. If or when I make a second version, I will probably be using tweego, which lets you edit in whatever text program you like, and I'll try to see if I can make these more standardized.

Sure, no worries. Hoping my detailled feedback won't sound too picky because of even referring to section where they occur, like which part getting chosen, at least you maybe find the textlines if I'd mention where I was noticing those "issues" (that's my origin thought about just e.g. single arrows getting marked as underline/clickable there, maybe also happens on paths I didn't examined yet). At least if I just played this game once, you'd know which sections I was viewing and which were not played or tested yet.