the game is quirky and fun but this is a prime example of show don't tell. almost everything is told to us. the game will go on about stuff such as "its a snowy day" or "you like D&D and astronomy" which beside being the two most basic interests ever is not shown well if at all. a good way to say "you like D&D" would be something like "you look at the cheap foldable table you and your friends meet up every friday at. dice and papers still stroon about from last night. you can't wait for next session. maybe you should start a second campaign on wednesdays." or talk about the astronomy decoration around her house or checking her horoscope.
the author show clear talent but has a long way to go and i will eagerly await her next work.