Skip to main content

Indie game storeFree gamesFun gamesHorror games
Game developmentAssetsComics
SalesBundles
Jobs
TagsGame Engines
(1 edit)

Hello, there.
I finished your game with the three characters in 24 hours, so here I am...
To begin with, you have to know that I'm french and that we don't have many otome games in our language (and excuse the faults in this message haha). That's why I first came here and looked for a good game, without waiting time to play.

I LOVED it. My god, just addictive.

1. Which bachelor you like the most? and why?
I support... MITRA !! Yay, Mitra is my looover ! <3 <3 <3 Oh my god, really, at first I was not interested in him, he was too « good-guy » and, frankly, I'm not a fan of kids, while he's always talking about family, projecting himself, etc.... That's the only negative point about his character, to me. The fact is, I totally fucked up with the Reska's route the first time (I couldn't even get to know him, haha, because I chose to be honest) and I always picked up the good choices so I would meet Mitra, without especially wanting it. Hehe, that's the proof I was meant to be his lover. Gradually, I learned to like him. He's sooo sweet (with his little feathers in his hair, aaawh <3), caring, kind, protective without being annoying, comprehensive. Oh, and I find that most of the romantic scenes were in his route, like the wing's performance (<3 !!) and the discussion in the burnt forest, you know after the first attack. Besides, after playing with all the guys, I feel a lot more close to everyone in Mitra's route, because we spent time with Avians, with Yuda, Asih, etc... since Mitra is a chief.

On the contrary, in Reska's route, I really felt like we didn't give a shit about Avians, we never spent time with them, we lied to them, we stole, ... that was too bad. I have to say, I was a little decieved by the story with Reska. I read so many commentaries which sayed that they loved Mitra before meeting with Reska ! He's cute too but nah. Maybe to possessive and that attitude annoys me. I mean, we're free to do what we want... However the love story is a bit more « mature » in his route, when we can't have that with Mitra (grr).

Then, there is Rama. Rama was a good surprise too. His background is really sad and coherent, I didn't expect that (and I didn't expect his fate in others guys'route ! I was like « What. No way, whaaaat »:O when Mitra came back with a piece of his loincloth.


2. Overall, what do you think about this visual novel? and what element stands out the most? (art? story? character?)

Ah, I don't know what to begin with ! This was really good ! I NEED to say it : the Avians are beautiful ! Asih is magnificient as hell ! I fell in love with her the minute she appeared on the screen.
I didn't like Tamara's design, with blue hair (yurk) and the colors of her clothes that didn't match. Besides, her pony tail and her scarf which were flotting in the air... I know that you probably wanted to make her like a manga heroin, but it's just that I don't like mangas anymore, so it's personnal. :) But if we compare with Asih, her design seems less worked.
The bachelors were great, especially Mitra (omg, his wings !! Omg, his eyes ! Mitraaa <3). Howerer I found them a little slim, even Mitra, who is supposed to be a warrior.

The writing was surprisingly good. No offense but in France, we don't find a game with this quality very often. I was so immersed in the story ! Sometimes I laughed, I shivered, my eyes got wet, I was chocked, I fangirled, ... That's a very good point, to manage to reach the fellings of your players by your work. Bravo ! What else... ? The story is addictive. A little simple but addictive. Simple because I think that the « war » goes too quick and is simply resolved. Tamara didn't do miracles by her own. At the end, we don't understand WHY the goddess chose her. She just threw a rock, what anyone could have done, and yet this is in Mitra's story ; with Reksa or Rama, her intervention is a little more useless.

Last but not least, the MUSICS were magic ! The game wouldn't be what is it, if the soundtrack wasn’t there. It really created an ambiance and fitted with the scenes. I have shivers when I rethink to some moments with Mitra... Maybe I'll download them later, if I can find them.


3. Do you have any question or constructive critiques? I will read all the comments and reply to them like I do in Lemmasoft.

Yeah, it's a fact that french people are known to complain a lot. So here are my questions and critics to maybe help you to improve your work in the future :)

I noticed some incoherences or mysteries unsolved. What with the dream in which Tamara hears someone being tortured ?! When I was with Mitra, I thought that maybe this was part of Reska or Rama's route, but no.
Then, there is the past of Tamara. She confesses it with Mitra and Rama but this is completely forgotten in Reska's story. Is that normal ?
Something else : when I played with Reska, Tamara didn't give a shit about Rama, and then we end up helping him and bringing him meat. That was strange. ^^
On this matter, it's a shame that we can't have some informations if we're not playing with the right bachelor. For example, the explanations around Rama's death. Rama is forgotten some days after it, and we can never discover why he wanted so much death. It would be great to speak about it, but not entirely of course...

I have nevertheless a last critique. So, here, I don't know if I react like that because I'm french (and annoying) or not, because no one spoke about the following subject until me xD One thing bothered me in your story : the women's condition. God, we really have an image so that the wife is here to cook, to do laundries, etc... Each time we saw Asih, she talked about house chores : « dinner is almost ready », « ah ! come one, breakfast is ready ! » like she does nothing else, and she's so weak, not physically but in her personality too... I hated that. I felt sometimes some observations from our protagonist, with a little irony (« it was like she taught me to be a good wife »), but it wasn't enough. Maybe it's their society to live this way – traditionally - , but Tamara seemed not really bothered. And the guys are sooo paternalist !

I finish this part on this : in my mind, the love story is too « cuty ». I mean the sexuality seems a taboo, when all the blood, the fights, the deaths and the war subject are for a mature public, so I don't understand this choice x)

I hope that my last remarks will not upset you. I really loved your game and I just wish that my commentary will help you for – maybe – another project.

4. Last but not least, if I make another visual novel, will you consider buying it? via patreon or kickstarter that is (since I need to eat, electricity, and such things when I make VNs xD)

Yeah, of course, if I have time to. I discovered english otome games ;)

THANK YOU for your work. Really. I lived a great adventure, which I won't forget and I'm sad to think that my commentary will conclude your wonderful story ! (I already miss Mitra :( hehe, I'll replay it one day)

Bye. :)

Hi Kioku! 

Thanks for visiting and giving me your honest comment! I'm really happy when I read it ^.^- now, I will do my best to answer your questions -*SPOILER ALERT*- 

1. I'm always glad to hear people giving their effort & time to read all the routes, so thank you -and WOW, just 24 hours? O.o you read fast! Did you skip sleep? Take care of your health! ><

2. Hahahah, glad to hear Mitra grew on you, dear <3 his omoed-omoedan event is also one of my favourites! It was so much fun writing it ^^- and yes,  in Reksa's route we are encouraged to break some rules since the circumstance is the Komodos are the Avians' enemy and Tamara couldn't afford to tell anyone that she is helping the said enemy >< and yep, Rama's story managed to shock the majority of readers *happy dance* 

As for the slim proportion, I'm sad to say that I haven't seen any real-life Indonesian guy who is buff/at least lithe with enough muscles to use as references... OTL a lot of the guys over here is skinny so it might affect my art even though I have photos references by my side.

I'm flattered to hear you think my writing-style is good >\\\< I still have a lot to learn though since I still have loopholes here and there -which you pointed out some x'D I will definitely work hard to improve it!

3. And thank you for liking Asih's design! She is one of the first designs I finished. As for Tamara's I was trying to make her pop up with her blue hair *cough* but I learned my lesson since some of my friends also said she looked unnatural ><

As for her dream, it was a dream sent by Ayu. She was illsutrating Rama's past mentality, where he was suffering & in his mind, people were laughing & ridiculibg him. In the last sequence where there is a loud CRACK, it was the time where he attempted his last suicide. Yep, I got a lot of questions about this & I took notes that I need to be more clear about this ><

Ah and of course, the timeline issue where some event about another bachelor pop out when you're inside another bachelor's route. I'm still trying to figure this out to be honest. I sometimes mixed them ><;; I thought it would be okay to get people read more about Rama since; Tamara basically lived in the village, so she would spend some time with him. At least, she would feel the need to try and help Rama out when he suddenly 'caged' himself and not eating. Welp, at least that was what I thought but then again, yeah, if might be weird to do that if you're not close to him. So this is an error from me maybe? Hmm... I will be more careful next time!

As for the women condition... in Indonesian past tradition (still is actually depending on which area where you live), women tend to be a housewife where the one who work and has a career is the husband. Despite Tamara's heritage(half British, half Indonesian), she grew and live in Indonesia since birth so she already knew about this and thought it is normal since she doesn't really have any ambition besides getting away from her uncle. This past about her and her uncle's family is not pretty, hence she grabbed at the first chance she got to move away. At Mitra & Rama's routes, the circumstances & mood affect her to tell them about it. In Reksa's route, she simply locked the memory deep within her heart & moved on because she felt like she doesn't need to tell him about it since she has decided to stay. She was also too busy helping him, keeping him a secret, following him to the village, war, etc so I think it's logical to say the thought never occured to her? X'D hahahh at least that was what I think.

Ah and about the story too 'cuty' despite the mature theme... *cough* Indonesian tradition is about keeping your virtue until wedding night so.... yup, not gonna go too far from kissing x'D hahahah (I'm also too embarassed to write them *cough*)

5. Thank you for your support! 

I hope my answers satisfy you? >\\\< I really enjoyed reading your comment & replying them -sorry for the text wall though O.O; 

This will greatly help me to revise & polish my 2nd project! timeline & managing the small events are my deepest concern besides the programming, but I will do my best to improve!

Hope to see you again,

Xoxo,

SweetChiel

Ah I almost forgot *SPOILER ALERT* 


As for why the Goddess chose Tamara... hmm... this actually will be explained later in my 2nd project; Nusantara: Bermuda Triangle, but I'll do my best to explain while keeping it spoiler-less as much as I could.  

It has something to do with her personality, traits -everything that defines her and most importantly, She chose her because she is an outsider -someone who doesn't have a real link to Her 'world'; who can change the future posibilities & fix the problem the Goddess created Herself. No one is able to touch the Pink Crystal besides Tamara and her chosen one remember? Because She cannot directly interfere with fate and that's why She needs some help from 'outside'. 

Um... do I explain well? I sometimes have a hard time with how to explain this particular element ^^;; as I said, more information will be explained in my 2nd project; Nusantara: Bermuda Triangle. It will explain the whole island's history & I think you will understand better after you play it in the future. I'm in the middle of making it now ~

Hey ! Thanks for answering, it's a really cute attention that we don't see everywhere ! Yep, I slept 3 hours but it worthed it, hehe. I read more comments since yesterday and I see that I'm not the only one who was such attracted by your story to play aaaall the night.

Oh, I'm really sorry if I offended you. I didn't know that you were Indonesian (or almost), and everything makes sense now. I really didn't replace the story in the right context and, well, when I finally read the encyclopedia given with the game, I felt a little embarrassed for saying what I said. And I didn't know either Tamara was from the same culture >< So, excuse me.

I saw that you worked on an other project more or less linked with "the Winged Ones". I don't want to play the demo since the game isn't finished yet and I'm afraid to become a big fan too early haha (and to live with furious impatience until it's out). But I'm so glad that there will be some informations about "the Winged Ones" ! I admire your universe and  I want to learn more and more.

I wish you to succeed in your projects. All of the critics are throwing to improve it, but it's an amazing job for a game meant to be free. By the way, I wanted to really thank you for making it free ! It was such an adventure, you deserve to be known and to have some contributions (I'll talk about you with some of my acquaintances but I don't promise you a new public if they don't like playing in english :P)

So, see you again. :)