After doing the first equipment remains quest you get the option to go to the outpost camp with Dulrig to make a delivery (I think you have to talk to him after completing that task), which is where you properly meet the commander. After that you can visit him at the outpost any time. Once you've met him you can talk to him and get info and set up the next part of the quest. I also recommend exploring the northcrest market at night after meeting the commander.