I feel like this either wants to be a much longer story, like a proper novella, with lots of time to breathe and reflect, or this needs to be trimmed down significantly. You have a lot of characters—Victor, Will, their Mom, their Dad, Beth, Henry, Justine, the Monster—and a lot of threads and plots—Victor falling into death science, him grappling with his sexuality, his relationships with everyone else, his dead mother—the lists go on and on and on. As-is, it feels like all those threads are competing for space, and so none of them get the time and energy they deserve.
If you want to expand this, I feel like you need about three times as long for everything: meaningful conversations between characters, plenty of time to get used to each new setting, time for Victor to continue making bad choices and fall deeper into his own self-destruction, a chance for each thread and theme to wind in and out of each other.
If you want to cut this down, I'd cut about half your characters and about half your plotlines: either make this a story about Victor's own self-destruction and descent in villainy, or make this a story about Victor coming to terms with Henry and Beth and his own sexuality. Either one would be good and interesting, but right now they conflict, rather than complement.
Despite all that, I liked this piece a lot: your language is evocative, the choices feel both important but also fitting, the characters only get a little screentime but are appealing in what we do get. However you decide to develop this piece further, I think it'll only improve.