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(1 edit)

Ok, as a screenwriter and filmmaker I will say the story needs revision. There is absolutely no character arches. It felt WAY more plot driven than character driven. I would focus on developing the characters as people and not placeholders for a plot-point. I think it would be a more emotional moment for the player if you build a connection with the wife a bit more. It just seemed too hollow.

Story aside, the game itself is good. I like the artwork and music but more branch narrative choices would've been great as well.

I also like the use of percentages to show how many made the moral decision or not. Overall good job. Just work on story structure a bit more.

Hey, thanks alot for the review. 

Storywriting is new for me. I'm a programmer as well as a sketches artist. I would like to develop the story more, do you have any suggestions how to be narrated? Thank you :D

(1 edit)

First and foremost, why should I care about this character? It's important for the player or viewer to connect with the character in the beginning. Because then they care about the story and how it ends. Establishing a connection will make the decision even harder in the end for the player. In this case, perhaps she sacrificed or gave up something (maybe she left her family in another country just to be with him). Emphasize her love and commitment to him, but let her own individual identity shine as well. If you want to leave the dialogue the same then make it make sense. Maybe her husband is verbally abusive and domineering. A real control freak that slaps her if she dares to defy his will. Then her dialogue and attitude towards the situation will make a LOT more sense for the psychology behind her actions and choices. Just Google three act structure, what is character driven vs plot driven, and how to use beats in writing.

(+1)

These are very valuable tips. Thanks alot! I will work on my writing skills. I will study the suggested topics then I will work on the game content. :D