Your pick up triggers for the setting elements seem to be a little contradictory. Most of them would seem to indicate that you should give away the element, since you're the one who's going to be interacting with that element the way that the trigger is described. Perhaps changing the "you" to "someone" would make those triggers work better. That said, I like your incorporation of death moves into the game. It's a really interesting idea. Maybe stress that you can also simply choose to die within the fiction, since I feel like you might not get much mileage out of it otherwise. Players in Belonging Outside Belonging games have a tendency to float around 2-3 tokens in my experience, making weak moves when they have fewer and spending when they have more, and I feel like hitting 0 tokens is a pretty rare event.