itch.io

Yeah, I'm happy to concede my point about the monologue thing. It honestly is subjective, and I can see it being completely fine for other people. It wouldn't really bother me either way if there's a change there or not. I still do think it's a bit of a slog to read though, but again, it's not ruining anything for me.

As for the Alen thing, I was mostly going off of what we already know of Alen. Yeah, he may have had a bad experience with teaching magic before, but we don't have anything about that. At least, not yet? I don't know if we'll get anything like that in the future. If we do, then all is mostly fine. But for now, we've known Alen to have a lot of patience and care with Reamus. Teaching Reamus magic is something he's taking very seriously because Reamus' (and Jymsar's) life could depend on it. I completely agree Alen was justified in raising his voice at Reamus. My issue was that it felt too sudden, and it just came across as a little jarring.

Besides, even if this was a bit of foreshadowing at Alen's past, I'd have to say it's done poorly. All we get is Alen suddenly raising his voice, and then pleading for Reamus to take learning magic seriously. He said himself he needs Reamus to learn magic so he might be able to understand the curse better. The focus is more on "You need to learn magic so I might be able to save you," not "You need to learn magic this way or X could happen." You know, if that's what that scene was going for.