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(+1)


Feedback:

I understand the two page limit is tough, but a little intro at the top about the kits would have been helpful to tie the kits together, or to the jam.


 Ascetic – very cool flavor, interesting mechanic. I think the effect part about if you are bleeding could be worded a little clearer. I was surprised there was no speed bonus to the kit.

Intercessor – very flavorful, very interesting mechanic. Is it required that your allies participate if the they are in the area? I like the once you use text, very neat. 

Valkryrie - If the title is a prerequisite, I'd put it before the kit, that might just be personal preference but the kit is useless to me if I don't know what I need to do to get it. Flavor for the effect is really cool.

Witchblade - very cool! For curse of bloodcunning, how long do you not take damage from bleeding? Is it only for the use of the signature ability, or until the end of combat? For shadow of corruption, I'd expect a potency here, this is very powerful.

Wilder – neat use of familiars! Very flavorful.


Overall, creative and flavorful, with some language tweaks needed, and maybe some power level adjustments. As a director I could see some liking and some dreading making intercessor missions. Personally, I think it's neat.

Thanks so much for the detailed feedback!

You’re absolutely right - a small blurb at the top would help to tie it all together; unfortunately the fight with Page Count von Glauer put me in a rough spot (and due to scheduling, I already had to halve my layout time), and that nicety slipped my mind.


The design for the Ascetic was all about trying to balance the push-pull mechanics with the performance shock and the inflicting of the bleeding condition, since that’s a condition the core kits don’t engage with.  What I ended up with in the doc was the simplest/most streamlined version of my pitches (I tried a self-inflict EoT bleeding; I tried to modulate the bleeding condition damage-wise, scaling to a d3, or experimenting with a ‘save ends’ option)… for each one, they didn’t quite mesh well linguistically for the mechanic, and I wanted the player to have the shock be consistent between uses for speed of play at the table; hence where it ended up.

I kinda like the fact that because it’s flat, it incentivizes using the shock at lower levels, and taking advantage of the bleeding condition at higher levels; since that fits the theming I had in my mind.


The Intercessor is (honestly) the kit I figure will get the most scrutiny, since it re-introduces an attrition mechanic into Draw Steel when the developers went out of their way to pull back from them.  Mechanics-wise, the other members of the party do not need to take part in the action (or mission) — you spend you Victories, toll your dice, and can recover 1-4 expended recoveries that can be divided up among party members in the burst; the goal is that the signature ability is a ‘hail mary’ play that thematically disadvantages the Intercessor in the short term (you lose two Victories, and therefore go into encounters at a Heroic Resource deficit compared to your party members) so your party can keep fighting or survive a deadly encounter; until they can complete the mission to gain those Victories back.


Good call on moving the Title first.  That will be one of my tweaks I implement for the eventual post-jam update.


The “cures of bloodcunning” (curse my typo in the doc lol - that’s another thing I’m itching to fix once the grading is over) effect is meant to be a single-apply ability.  Rules as intended, using the Signature Ability with that curse doesn’t proc bleeding damage for that Main Action instance.


Thanks again so much for the detailed feedback!