Well, the intention is that the player discovers what can be done and how to do it in the game, simply by trial and error (at least currently)
As for hands - this is a little complicated, as sex was added first and wholesome handholding later, in other words you just need to remove her shirt all the way off to be able to hold her hands (I know, absurd, should be fixed at some point)
Clothes need to be removed all the way off first in order to put them back on, check the dresser to the left of the bed